7.31.2010

To be or not to be? Simply a matter of destiny.

Even though I am writing this during the same "awake period" as my last post, you can't get mad at me because it is technically the next day. Yes, I am writing this at 12:22 A.M. because I feel the need to.

So, I was watching more Star Trek. (Of course: What else do I do these days?) Specifically I was watching more Enterprise, the third season. I came across this episode called Similitude. You'll have to read the linked synopsis (please, it makes my life so much easier) to understand entirely, but here's my quick summary:

Basically, Trip receives neural tissue damage while saving the ship. This puts him in a coma. To try and treat this, Dr. Phlox proposes to grow a clone to harvest said neural tissue. After being assured that this clone will survive the procedure, Capt. Archer approves it. Everyone gets attached to this clone, and then they find out that to perform the operation, the clone (by this point having been names "Sim") will not survive. By the point, Sim has discovered that he isn't Trip. It's also important to note that sharing Trip's genetic profile gave Sim all of Trip's memories.

So, Sim wants to live, but gets persuaded not to by Capt. Archer and his own conscious. He goes in for the operation, but before being sedated, he says this, "You said to me once that commanding a starship was what you were meant to do. I guess this is what I was meant to do."

Now, I may have left out some details, but that why you should read Memory Alpha's synopsis, linked above.

The reason I found this so worthy of posting that I must do so at...it's now 12:36 in the morning...is because I am currently confronted by a similar though process, although not of such profound proportions. I have always been interested in science, ever since I was young. This, when combined with my diagnosis of Diabetes (Type 1), made me all the more likely to pursue my current career choice: microbiologist in medical research. However, as of late, I am not entirely sure if this is what I really want. I have been doing genetic research in a college lab this Summer, and the more I do it, the more it seems like I'm sure if this is what I'd be the best doing. You should know that I am also skilled in music, acting, and speech. I could try to be a composer, an actor, or maybe even a politician if I chose.

This is where Sim's conflict seems to hit me. What am I meant to do? I may want to be a musician of sorts, but I may be meant to come out with a breakthrough treatment for Diabetes, or some other disease. Or it may be vice-versa. My worst fear, is that I don't want to take up the one that may seem more fun, or more quickly satisfying, while I was meant to do the other. Then there's also to consider if there truly is a "meant to be". If there is such a thing as destiny, to any extent.

Anyway, that's my dilemma. It's one I hope I am able to solve. It'll probably end up having something to do with the Man upstairs. (Yes, I am religious. Also, I'm LDS. Deal with it.)

Well, I'm tired. It's now...12:56... I'm going to bed. I hope I don't wake up in the morning, re-read this post and freak out due to it's lack of coherence. We'll have to see.

Until...probably later this afternoon. Good night, and good luck.

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